


Not All Is Lost

by Moria



Category: Stand Still Stay Silent
Genre: Blow Jobs, Dream Sex, Eucatastrophe, Frottage, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2017-01-16
Packaged: 2018-09-16 19:21:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9286238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moria/pseuds/Moria
Summary: Lalli, feeling isolated and alone, unable to speak to anyone after Turri’s attack, turns to his dreams to block out his problems. But one person comes to give him company, and offers to do anything for him.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [amyfortuna](https://archiveofourown.org/users/amyfortuna/gifts).



> I could not resist combining as many of your likes all into one fic. Enjoy! :D

Isolation clung to his bones like the terrible winter’s chill. Surrounding him everywhere were his crew-mates, the people he had worked with for weeks, possibly months, and yet not a single word could he discern from their lips now. And no longer could he without the help of his cousin who was now separated from him, quarantined away into a special corner, a makeshift room while the others sought to heal the troll-wound. 

The tank had been a whirl of confusion the moment he had brought Mikkel into the tank, his eyes begging him to do something. A roar had issued from Mikkel’s lips the moment he saw Tuuri, summoning the captain and the cleanser, and soon the tank felt too small with the mad rush as medical equipments went flying past him, feet pounding on the floor, the troll dragged out of the tank, commands screamed to cleanse the once-sterile area of their sleeping quarters—Lalli’s mind could scarcely register the embrace the captain gave his cousin, the moment shared between them as the hands of a powerful warrior spent a few seconds softly brushing away tears of—(her lover, Lalli’s mind could not comprehend.)

And all this time, Reynir stood across from Lalli in the tank, rooted to the spot in pure dread, his eyes unseeing the same scenes as Lalli’s. Lalli turned towards him silently, for he could not say anything to him that the Icelander could understand. His heart ached, every inch of his body wishing he could just lung at him and wrap his arms around the warmth promised from him, but he could not. They seldom spoke. They could not understand each other now, and he knew not how the man felt for him, not after all the ways Lalli treated him. 

_Idiot. Should have known better than to burn that bridge._

Yet the loneliness was soon suffocating him. After all this time, he knew nothing of his cousin’s status. No one could update him, and his mind was derailing with ill thoughts of all the possible outcomes of her fate. He could only try to read the scene before him, but he was poor in the language of the body as well as spoken words that was not his Native tongue. And the way Reynir was watching them too, still shellshocked, still teary-eyed, was only making the ache in his heart worse. 

And so he turned his back and made his way to the very front of the tank, to the driver’s seat. He recalled once falling asleep there while Tuuri tried to hold a conversation with him, and he pushed the guilt out of his mind. He had been exhausted after that scouting round, he told himself. He could not stop himself. He would make it up to Tuuri, once he had the chance to get close to her again. Curling into a ball on the passenger seat, he closed his eyes and let sleep claim him like the tidal waves crashing upon shorelines. 

For a few, long, melancholic moments, everything around him was dark. Then the welcoming sound of a bird could be heard deep into the forest of his Haven, and he could breathe once more, knowing he was safe in the womb of his own forest, away from the rustle of the terrible world outside. 

And then he opened his eyes. 

“Hi, I’m sorry if I woke you.” 

With a gasp Lalli jolted into a sitting position, his gaze never leaving Reynir. He was sitting, crouched just a couple feet away from his raft in the middle of the pond. When he saw Lalli sit up, he stood holding out his hands in defense. 

“Hey, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to barge in, I noticed you looked really scared and lonely back there, like you needed someone to talk to—”

 _I do. I need someone right now._ The words screamed out in Lalli’s mind, but they did not reach his lips. He continued glaring at Reynir. 

“I’m here if you need to talk. Or anything at all.” 

_I need you._ But those were not the words the came out. 

“Why didn’t you do _anything_?” 

The water below his raft shook with the anger in his voice. Reynir yelped and took a step back, perhaps worried of what Lalli had done the last time he had come uninvited into his Haven. 

“You were with her! You have magic! It’s not pointless magic! I saw what it could do! The rune you wrote on the paper—it could make fire! _I saw what it could do!_ She had nothing to defend herself! _Why did you just sit there?_ ” 

Reynir gasped at the sight of the teeming tears in Lalli’s eyes. It was pointless to hide them here in front of Reynir. He wasn’t the kind to mock or say anything about them to the others, and if he did, Lalli would make him regret it. 

“I’m sorry!” Reynir said, and he really meant them. Somehow, Lalli knew it, struggling as he always did in understanding others’ words. “I’m so sorry! It happened so fast that I didn’t even see her get struck! We were sitting and listening to the battle outside, and then Kitty got scared, and then we were wondering what was making her panic, and then out of nowhere this troll came crashing out of the tank from below our feet, and suddenly you barged through the door and shot the troll, and by the time I realized what had just happened, I realized Tuuri got injured! I never even saw it happen! I didn’t even realize when it had happened! 

“I’m so sorry I wasn’t quicker! I’m—” 

Lalli charged at Reynir then, grabbed him by the shoulders, and pressed their lips together. His heart pounded in his ears, and he could swear he could also hear Reynir’s as he tasted their mingled tears drip into their kiss. His body began to shake, first from the confession, then relief for reasons he could not fully explain, and then the shock and embarrassment over his own actions—to kiss Reynir now, like this, so foolishly; Reynir must think him unhinged to go from yelling then kissing him in the span of seconds. 

But then Reynir was kissing him back with as much of the passion as he was giving, and his arms—so warm and protective and large—wrapped around him and pressed. Normally it would have set off Lalli’s sensory overload, but instead it was fast releasing the tension inside his tormented core. Yes, Lalli sighed, squeezing Reynir’s arms in silent yearning to be hugged tighter. He needed this kind of contact, right now. 

They broke apart the kiss for air, but Reynir quickly kissed his brow. 

“It’ll be okay,” he said softly as he rubbed Lalli’s back. “Everything will be fine. I’m here if you need anything.” 

“I need…you,” Lalli confessed, low-voiced, a whisper, as if he was worried his own Haven would give away to a cruel hit of reality. 

Reynir smiled. “Then I am yours. I’d…like that, actually.” 

The heat rose in Lalli’s cheeks. His head spun from the revelation. “I…” He sought Reynir’s lips again, tasted his lower lips, lightly bit it, exploring, another kiss, slower, longer, more desperate. One hand left Reynir’s arm, roamed the length of it, explored his back, dipped into the long red hair, that silly snake-long braid. 

“Squeeze me,” Lalli sighed between one kiss. “It makes me forget.” 

Reynir nodded, gladly obliged. He pressed Lalli’s shoulders, and his embraces became tighter, almost crushing Lalli, releasing every drop of tension till Lalli could scarcely stand on his own two feet. Slowly their exploration took them on their knees, when each breath that left Lalli came as a long contented sighs, moans, his body shivering with a new need. The tension of earlier had completely left him, and in its place was something new, something sweeter and more agonizing both. 

“Let me help you, beautiful,” Reynir whispered in Lalli’s ear. The weight of his stole left his shoulders, soon followed by the constraints of his tunic. The exposing of bare skin was rewarded with warm kisses and the tickle of red fringes against his pale skin. Lalli’s breath hitched as heat pooled towards his cock. He pressed against the warm wool of Reynir’s clothes, feeling the texture against his warm skin. 

Reynir smiled and ran a hand over Lalli’s head. “Would you like to wear my coat? I’ll let you wear it.” 

“Not now,” Lalli said as he stepped behind Reynir. He brought the edge of the coat over Reynir’s shoulders, indicating for him to shrug them off, and tugged them off, helping him the rest of the way. The warmth of Reynir’s body still clung to them, and Lalli held them against his tummy for a moment before letting it slip to the ground. Then making his way slowly back, he undid the buttons of Reynir’s top tunic, exposing a little of the skin that had teased him before when they changed in the same room. With a heated sigh he leaned forward and kissed the spot he had just exposed; his tongue lapped at the warm skin, tasting him, and smiling, he exposed a little more. 

He could feel Reynir’s own body responding to his careful attention, taking his time. He stole a glance above him in time to see the dancing surface of the pond reflected in the green eyes as if enchanted. 

Lalli felt the corners of his lips stretch into a rare small smile. “I’m not an expert in this, but you seem to enjoy it.” 

Reynir swallowed thickly. “I…I guess because I really like you, that’s all.” 

“That’s all,” Lalli repeated, half-mocking, but it was a compliment, and he would be untruthful to say his heart did not squeeze at the honest words. He rewarded Reynir with kisses down each exposed skin: shoulders, arms, chest, stomach…vaguely he was aware of pulling Reynir down to lie on the grassy banks beside his pond. This allowed him better opportunity to explore with his hands and mouth, to taste, to savor him, to feel the pulse of his warm body—the rush of life, his young and sheltered life—under his hands. 

His exploration traveled down till his hands brushed over Reynir’s cock. A quick, stifled moan came from Reynir, ending abruptly just as the brush left him, both unsure. 

The heat had completely taken over Lalli; his cheeks must have been as red as Reynir’s hair by this point, but he needed more of him. 

“I…would you like…”

Reynir grabbed Lalli’s shoulders and brought him up for a ravishingly long kiss. 

“Anything you give me,” he moaned, and grabbing hold of Lalli’s hand, he guided him back. Sparks fly in the back of Lalli’s mind in the flurry of new sensations, touching Reynir, so hot and intimate. Reynir bit his lower lip and whimpered, rocking his hips gently into his hand. He was doing this to Reynir, Lalli told himself. With a tiny grin, he gave Reynir a quick kiss on the cheek before slipping back down, kissing the length of him before his mouth found the slit of his cock. 

A quick flick of his tongue over the tip and he could sense Reynir wanting to both come and hate him for it. He continued with his slow torments, teasing with laps of his tongue and his hot breath over the erected flesh before his own body could not resist the temptation. 

By then Reynir’s legs quivered on either side of his head. Lalli placed a hand on each thigh, massaging them, comforting, before slowly drawing circles towards his prize. The gentle pressure earned him Reynir’s hands in his hair, fingers carding through, the ministrations mimicking his own. He kept an eye on Reynir, how his chest went up and down, his heart and lungs hammering from everything Lalli was giving him. So beautiful. When Lalli gave him a kiss right where his legs and hips connected, Reynir gave the tiniest gasp, and one of his hands fell on Lalli’s shoulder. 

With another small smile, Lalli continued with his little kisses, tracing around till his reached Reynir’s cock again. The hand on his shoulder squeezed, and Lalli grabbed hold of it. With Reynir’s hand in his and his eyes poised on him, Lalli gripped Reynir’s cock in his other hand and slowly took it into his mouth. 

The gasps, the moans, Reynir fighting not to arch right into his mouth…the sights and sounds alone almost made Lalli himself come. He was doing this, he was making this all happen, to the one he secretly fell for, that mage who had flitted past him once upon a dream. And the taste of him, so delicious, the pearly sweetness, as sweet as the young shepherd. 

To tease Reynir further, Lalli decided he would take moments to temporarily stop just to smear a little bit of the seed over Reynir’s belly and then licking it off before returning to his cock. His tongue on Reynir’s stomach meant having to deal with very loud, passionated cries from an Icelander. 

“You like getting your tummy tickled, like the puppy your Luonto takes?” he said. 

“Fylgja,” Reynir corrected, “And— _AH_!” He threw his head back in mix euphoria and agony as Lalli took him back into his mouth; he was going to regret offering himself like this to Lalli, Lalli decided. Or not, given the way he lovingly squeezed and held Lalli’s hand as Lalli sucked him, how he did not hold back the moans, how he was genuine with everything, even his own emotions. 

And the longer Lalli went, taking him in, sucking him, tasting, hungrily drinking in his juices, the more of the juices were coming. It would not be long before Reynir climaxed into his mouth, considering the way Reynir’s freckled legs spread out on either side of him, with Lalli’s name dribbling out of his lips like an incantation. 

And then suddenly: 

“N-n-n-n-no, Lalli!” Reynir gasped out as he pulled himself in a sitting position with his elbows. “No, please stop!” 

Eyes wide, Lalli halted. He stared at Reynir in utter confusion, even hurt. Did he do something wrong? 

But Reynir was grinning, his face flushed redder than his hair that was coming undone. “I can’t let you go on with this and not experience this too!” 

Lalli wasn’t certain he could last out one more second. Just the sight of Reynir, all flushed, with Lalli’s saliva on him, was enough to make him want to faint, but he gave a nod of his head, trembling as Reynir gave a tiny cheer and moved in to kiss him and guide him into a supine position as Reynir himself had been moments before. 

Reynir’s kisses and caresses came eager and affectionate. Perhaps it was by Lalli’s will, for he did not think he could hold out much longer for the rest of this, but somehow, he did, even as Reynir took him in. And he was glad, for when that hot mouth found him his eyes teemed with tears and he cried out. Instantly his hands dug into that wild mane of red hair, gasping out Reynir’s name. Reynir’s adoration for him was felt with every lap of tongue over his tip, each lick, each suck, tasting him, savoring him… 

Lalli’s eyes found the stars, his mind adrift of all thought save for the euphoria of being claimed and loved as this, the gentle tugging of his body spilling all of his anguish, swallowed into love, and Reynir Reynir Reynir—

“I don’t want it to end like this,” Lalli gasped out. He squeezed Reynir’s hand to get his attention, but he had already stopped, having heard his complaint. Their eyes met. “I want your arms around me.” 

“We can do something for that,” Reynir said. He pushed himself up till he was on top of Lalli. Lalli noticed a bit of his own seed was on the side of Reynir’s mouth, and he swatted Reynir’s hand away when he went to wipe it, licking it off before kissing his lips. 

“I think it’s not just cookies you really like,” Reynir teased. 

“Both are sweet,” Lalli said. “I did not see you spit out anything from me.” 

“Guilty, then,” Reynir said. 

Reynir positioned himself so that their cocks touched, the contact alone sending shivers too great to keep Lalli still. Reynir gave a little thrust, grinding his hips into Lalli’s, and sparks exploded in Lalli’s mind once more from the contact. He squeezed Reynir’s arms in response. 

“How’s this?” Reynir asked with a wicked grin. Lalli decided he loved seeing that mischievous smile on that man, especially for one normally so genuinely kind. “We can kiss and hug or trade insults or do anything else we want in the meantime.” 

“That sounds wonderful,” Lalli said. “Especially the part about trading insults. My fool.” 

But the way things went, there was hardly a chance for thinking of any playful insults. His mind and universe dissolved into only love, only Reynir, his entire body having become molecules of desire and passion, giving and receiving. Instead of speaking they busied with kisses, and their arms, as Lalli wished, were wrapped in a tight embrace, as their hips grind into one another, their hips setting off the final fireworks of bliss that shot through their spine, dissolving into the purest of pleasure that Lalli had ever experienced. 

Here, in his Haven, with Reynir atop, his weight just the right pressure, his affection and his love just what Lalli needed, not overwhelming, just right, just what he needs to realign his mind and his thoughts—he gripped onto Reynir’s shoulders as his kisses grew desperate, clinging onto to him, and somewhere in his mind he sensed Reynir’s body nearing, as if their bodies and souls had converged in the dreamworld, together on this path. His body’s bliss found the peak and trembled into a great wave of climax that, with it, spilled his despair from before. Above him, Reynir shuddered and cried out. 

He wept, in bliss and grief both, begging for Reynir to not let go, and feel those arms hold him tighter and tighter, even long after his orgasm, even as the world was nothing but the calm, tranquil darkness provided in the crook of Reynir’s shoulder. 

Lalli could feel Reynir’s breaths slowly steadying from the way his body pressed against him, feeling the turbulent heart slow into the a gentler rhythmic beat. His breath blowing past Lalli’s ear came softer. 

“Thank you,” Lalli said, unashamed from his tears. He was made vulnerable in every way possible in front of Reynir, but this felt good. Felt right. And Reynir would never hurt him. He was safe in those arms. Reynir nodded, and shifted so they could look into each other’s eyes, share a soft kiss, as their bodies still healed in the shared afterglow. Lalli smiled. 

“There’s still hope,” Reynir said. “While you were out scouting recently, I had a dream that I met a woman who ran an old church back during the days right when the Illness took the world. She’s a very nice old woman. Her faith and her conviction to help people kept her rooted to this world, but Lalli—whatever became of her…she’s not like the other ghosts we’ve seen. Maybe she can help Tuuri! And Mikkel—he’s found several samples of the serum they were testing patients on. One of them caused brain death—he was reading off notes loudly to the others in Sweden through the radio. Tuuri had to translate for me, but there are other samples, Lalli! The medical group who made the cure were still working on improving on the serum, and Mikkel was only talking about the sample in his hand! There are many more out there! Maybe it’s the one from our other hunts! Maybe the lady in the church can help us!” 

“What are you saying?” Lalli squeezed Reynir’s arms painfully as he nearly jolted up. “The cure is inside the tank? _Right now?_ ” 

“It might be? I don’t know, and I’m not making promises!” Reynir said. “I’m just saying, Mikkel’s been collecting serum samples wherever we go. We know what one of them does, but we don’t know about the rest. And then there’s this woman—Lalli, I have a feeling she could help Tuuri. If I was able to see her in my dream and go to her Haven, then she must be a mage of some kind! And if she was able to hold out this long keeping her integrity—Maybe she was a healer for her god!” 

Hope filled the place where grief once stood, and as Lalli peered into Reynir’s eyes he finally understood that not all was lost, that hope was still attainable, as he now felt it clearly, mingled with all the love Reynir had given him. He could almost throttle Reynir with this sudden revelation. 

“We must find her, right now!” Lalli said. He glanced about themselves as a new urgency possessed him. “Quick, wash up! Fix your silly braid! We have to go before we wake up! Take me to her! If you were able to find her once, you can find her again! We can save her, we’re going to save Tuuri!” 

“I will, I will!” Reynir said excitedly. Taking Lalli’s hand, he helped them both up.

*

Back in the waking world, Reynir slept besides Lalli, his head tucked under one folded arm over the dashboard, his expression hidden. The other hand lay beside Lalli’s, their fingers touching. On Lalli’s tear-stricken face was a small smile holding all the hope in the world. 


End file.
